Do you have trouble saying no to someone you love? I feel their disappointment right in the pit of my stomach. When declining the request of the partner, husband, wife, child or friend, or Pet, for God’s sakes, it tends to make us feel guilty. I just got back from the supermarket and bought 7 cases of cat foot and 6 large bags of cat treats. Why? I am sick and tired of the screaming of my cats..every five minutes they demand yet another supplemental meal. A “friskie” here, a “kibbles and bits” there, Meow Mix again, they ask for it by name.

I tied my tubes at 36 because I knew that I would not do well with children. i would lack the assertiveness required.,I frequently tell people that if I had had kids, they would have all had become career felons because I would have spoiled them rotten. So instead? I raise cats who are demanding, spoiled, “Bless their hearts” as they say in the south. They lick me, kiss, rub up against, block my computer scream, and employ any ploy to get me to fulfill their Friskie/ Kibbles and Bitts demands. By the end of the day, their constant Gimme, Gimme, Gimme, has made my stomach churn, with guilt until I give, give, give. Thus the excessive digestive complaints and Friskies purchases.

This week’s Hayhouse Radio show is appropriately entitled, Gimme, Gimme, Gimme, and we are going to talk about the connection between 3rd Chakra Digestive disorders and our difficulties handling demanding people. Please let me know in this blog how you have or have not been able to handle the demanding loved ones in your life.

Before leaving for the Thanksgiving weekend I watched a Today Show food segment that has left an indelible imprint in my mind that will probably follow me through the holidays.

You know the segment….”How to keep a Your Weight Down for the Holidays by doing Blah Blah Blah”…The book author had an array of “bad food choices” and the “good food equivalents”. Some are just obvious, since who doesn’t know that dark meat has more fat that white meat. you would have to have been living in a Jenny Craig Cave not to know that. However, some were much more shocking. For example, did you know that a serving (whatever that is) of stuffing is equivalent to 4, yes “four” orders of french fries? This was the fact that is now in graved in my brain.

On the way to Thanksgiving Dinner, as we were in the long car ride, in between the usual “chit-chat” I made my public service announcement. Cheerfully, I proclaimed,” hey, did you know that the calories and fat grams in an order of stuffing is equivalent to FOUR ORDERS of FRENCH FRIES?” Needless to say, I almost had to walk the rest of the way as the other passengers were not wanting to either watch their weight on Thanksgiving. And later,  as I sat at the dinner table, I realized that  weight control during the holidays wasn’t going to be determined by controlling appetite and calorie selection. Aunt Zelda had her Cheese souffle that she was very, very proud of and she kept inquiring why you weren’t eating more of it. And I noticed that the more nervous people got, the more alcohol they drank and the more I wanted to hit the Italian cookie tray ( I don’t drink).

Its not easy to  maintain a healthy 3rd chakra for the holidays. Our 3rd chakra has to do with maintaining a healthy weight, freedom from addiction, dependency and co-dependency, not to mention digestion. This weeks radio show is entitled Love Will Keep Us Together: Weight Problems, Addiction, Dependency and Co-Dependency and we are going to get a jump on the weight and addiction pressures of the holidays. Please let me know in this blog how you have you have dealt with the 3rd chakra pressures of the holidays.

Squirreling Behavior

Its fall, the days are getting shorter and I have that annual compulsion like the squirrels to shop around for those staples, to collect  the “nuts” and bolts of what I think I will need to survive for the upcoming winter. For the furry animals outside, the objects collected stored and hoarded for future use are acorns and other food, twigs, leaves and other blankets to survive the months of snow and ice. And even though I am in the safety of my own warm home I and maybe you have the same “squirreling”instinct, having a compulsion to buy and store up food and “things”  for the winter we may in fact not necessarily even need.

You think I’m making up that term aren’t you? Squirreling instinct…Its actually a true phenomenon. An instinct that is buried deep in our brain and covered up by the normal development of our frontal lobes. For instance,  when we develop a dementia like Alzheimer’s disease, and our frontal lobe atrophies (shrinks, disappears) this squirreling behavior comes out. You may see older patients with dementia in a nursing home cafeteria, when these individuals are anxious or depressed, they  begin to sneak salt and pepper shakers, plastic flowers or other useless items into their purse. In fact, these patients may surreptitiously go into other peoples’ rooms and grab  clothing underwear, not even their size and other useless items and stick them into their purse before slipping away. And when faced with the music, the “shopper” will claim.” who me? these are mine. I bought them from the store.”

If you begin shopping around , impulsively shopping for items especially ridiculous items in the fall, beware. This mare be a sign that you have a seasonal affective disorder (SAD) or a mood problem  and tendency toward anxiety which  both are get more out of balance with the colder, darker months.  Catalog companies know this and they send us their pamphlets on these rainy October days….all of their items look extremely tempting *think plastic flowers in the nursing home cafeteria” but I am sure if I perused this same catalog in July I would laugh at the stuff the company is trying to unload. You want some examples?  A very expensive catalog who shall remain nameless. Exclusive Handbook Candle $38.00 (the candle is 1″ high”.). A magnifying glass and letter opener caught my eye “Glitzy heart detailed desk accessories crafted of silver-tone brass and purple crystals. $115.00. But my favorite that almost got me to get my card out was the  Exclusive Turquoise File Box-”Painted in an eye-catching turquoise  hue, this hand-crafted composite wood file box with stand holds legal and letter-sized files.  $294 incl shipping.  I am still haunted by the turquoise file box. Every-time I look at it in the catalog, it does elevate my mood and soothe my anxiety as much as that shopping expedition to JCrew did last weekend. But beware. Shopping, or RT “Retail Therapy” does have a therapeutic effect of raising self esteem, mood and reducing anxiety by releasing opiates. (look up my Turquoise File Box on the web and you will see what I mean). How ever a similar pharmaceutical effect can be obtained by many other methods without the associated credit card costs and interest fees. It appears that we can learn to love ourselves and improve our mood without incurring debt and acquiring “things” “squirreling” away item after item. Jennifer Lopez had it right. My Love don’t cost a thing and its “not available in stores”.